Rededicating Grandma Shih's Gravesite

Rededication of AhMa’s Gravesite – July 6th, 2009

In talking with my aunt, Mei Juan the past few months, we agreed that AhMa’s gravesite has deteriorated so much that it neede to have some work done. We agreed to split the cost among AhMa’s 3 daughters’ families; my mom, Mei Lien, my aunt Mei Duan, and my aunt Mei Juan. She called in some contractors and got the price of 120,000 NT or 4,000 USD. Aunt Mei Juan was compelled to call cousin PoYuan, the son of mom’s 4th older brother about the project. My cousin, PoYuan agreed to share the cost too. The story that came out really surprised me though.

My Grandma, or AhMa as we called her, was the second wife of my grandfather Shih Ting. Or to put it more correctly, she was his concubine. The first wife was a very kind woman who had 4 sons. My grandmother had 3 daughters. The 4th son was very sickly as a child. As custom went, his health was so poor that my grandfather decided that he needed to be adopted by a poor family so the gods would have pity on him and keep him alive. It had to be a pretty difficult decision to give up a child to save his life according to the superstitions. My grandma was a clever woman. She hadn’t had any child at that time and she was 30 years old. She suggested to my grandfather that she should adopt the boy to be her own. It was a wonderful solution for all and my uncle was able to stay in the same household. He grew up to be a big healthy man and took over my grandfather’s family business, which was a glass shop.

My Aunt Mei Juan called PoYuan, the son of this uncle and asked if he would be interested in being involved with the project. He gladly accepted. So each family paid 30,000 NT or 1,000 USD. Ling and I gladly paid our share. According to the custom, a banquet was supposed to be held after the rededication or anything to do with funerals. Aunt Mei Juan asked if I was willing to provide such banquet. After conferring with Elwin, we decided that we could do that. Aunt Mei Juan carefully made out the guest list. Some cousins are getting old and not able to make the trip up to HsinDian where the gravesite was, so they were invited to join us at the luncheon afterwards. The luncheon was held at a restaurant not too far from my aunt’s house. The cost of the luncheon was 4,400 NT per table and we ordered 2 tables for 8,800 NT or around 300 USD for 22 people.

On Monday morning, July 6th, Elwin and I took the MRT to HsinDian and cousin MingXiong picked us up at the station. One cousin also took the MRT and we met at the HsinDian station. It was surprising that we recognized each other after 50+ years. She and I went to grade school together. When we arrived at the cemetery, several cousins were already there. The cemetery is a Air Force Officers’ cemetery. My uncle, Shih Zhi Pu, Aunt Mei Juan’s husband, served in the Air Force. Since my grandma lived with them, they decided to bury her there. It was an honor for him to be able to do that, but as I remembered, the other relatives were not very pleased. But everyone let Aunt Mei Juan had her way because she took care of grandma for many years without help from her brothers even though Grandpa left a fortune.

Aunt Mei Juan’s son, Zhong Wu and his wife, Hui Zhen were in charge of the project and they did a fantastic job. The gravesite was beautiful. Zhong Wu started the ceremony and her mom spoke first to welcome everyone. Then, Zhong Wu asked each present to bow to the grave 3 times as he called for each bow. After that, he invited me to say a prayer. My aunt is a Christian and I asked her the night before if a dedicatory prayer was being said. She told me it would fine if I offered the prayer. I was very grateful for that. I thanked our Father in Heaven for bringing us all here and making it possible to rededicate this gravesite. I asked our Father to bless Grandma that she was reunited with Grandpa and all her loved ones, including my mom and her 2nd daughter. I thanked our Father for the prosperity of the family and asked Him to continue to bless AhMa’s descendants. I was so grateful that my aunt agreed for me to say the prayer. Aunt Mei Juan is a Chirstian, but she didn’t believe that the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints was a legitimate church. So, it was very special that she showed us respect and allowed us to pray publicly.

The Shih Family

Cousin Zhong Wu and his wife Hui Zhen prepared some cool drinks for us after the dedication. We met at the pavilion and Aunt Mei Juan thanked everyone for coming. I, too, was asked to say a few words. I thanked everyone in behave of my 2 sisters and invited everyone to lunch afterwards. Cousin PoYuan presented the genealogy he’s been working on and it was so wonderful to have all the participation. Aunt Mei Juan had put together a Shih genealogy chart 3 years ago, but this time, Cousin PoYuan also presented us the status of our Grandfather Shih’s gravesite in Tainan. Apparently, someone had purchased the land around Grandpa’s gravesite making it impossible to visit the gravesite. The farmer who lives there would only allow families to go and do tomb sweeping during Spring holidays. He told us that he and his brothers have been working on some other ways to resolve the problems. We were all very happy to hear that ancestors are so important in the lives of people in Taiwan.

After the dedicatory prayer and the little rest at the pavilion, we proceeded to the restaurant and had a very delicious lunch. The meal included sea urchins, fish, famous barbeque ribs from the restaurant. Each family from the Shih family was represented. Mom’s best friend, cousin Ah Quan came to be with us too. It was a very special get-together. I was very grateful that Aunt Mei Juan made this all possible.

@ Grandma's gravesite - some brought flowers, some brought food, some brought a bottle of flower scent that Grandma loved---all to show her how much we love her and miss her.